After the storm has past...

I'm like so glad the weekend is over. Haven't had a busier one in a super long time (but I'm not keen to break the record anytime soon)

On saturday morning, I practically did a one-man show for BB Y2s program (with the exception of drill). That included First Aid (which I found out the night before, and had to scramble to get my facts together), and leading/playing for worship during CE (went better than the last time I did that. good practice:) After that, we had planning/co-ord meeting for the Y2 training program. (talk about a packed morning).

Mum & Dad fetched me home, and I had a chance to chill a little before heading to school to "study". (Actually, I just wanted to drag Bang for fusion after that, which I only found out about in ACS(I) that morning cos I could hear planetshakers raising the roof). Well, let's just say that fushion was simply awesome, and we both enjoyed it loads. WE LOVE OUR GOD!!!

Sunday was the maddest rush I had in a long time. I was doing sound system for service in the morning (both of them actually), and due to last-minute re-connection and stuff (as well as loads of other last minute presentations that found their way to me), the stress level was rather -_-. I was really grateful for how Chee Kin helped with the setup and sound checks despite having to play that day, and later on for encouraging me after 1st service when I was feeling a little down about how it went. Just before 2nd service, I ran off because I was leading worship for the youths (with almost no rehearsing). Thankfully, God provided and I truly enjoyed the experience of leading yet again:)) It was rush back to service after that, and the rest was pretty smooth sailing after that.

I can't quite begin to recall how exhausted I was when I reached home, and I told myself that I would go running to de-stress (well, the rain put an end to my plans, and I didn't feel like sleeping), so I sat around attempting to study MLE (midterms are this sat...omg), although I spent the most time disturbing Yin online (oops..:p) and watching random stuff on youtube.

This morning was simply beautiful, and I told myself I was going to go running whether rain, shine or hail. As I dragged myself through 21K, I was just singing "Beautiful Saviour" to myself, reminiscing the experiences at fusion. For some reason, the same old issue came back to haunt me around the ~10K range and I was trying not to think about it. Then I felt God saying: "Jon, you know I'm in control here, and I'm taking this a lot more seriously than you yourself ever could. Just trust me for the outcome". It was an amazing sensation of peace after that as I could enjoy the surrounding scenery of botanic gardens and learn to let my thoughts rest.

I just tried the sample EC2101 midterm paper, and the result was super disappointing.:(( Time to study

Oh God help me...

I'm suddenly so stressed again... BB stuff has a way of cropping up all at once, and it doesn't help that mid-terms aren't far away.

Why must this be the time when I have to struggle hardest with my feelings almost each day?

God, please be my strength when I need You...

The Lord Provided...yet again

It's final - I get to keep all my service areas for 2009! :))

Thank you God for providing, but help me keep working hard for You. Looking forward to another sem of juggling studies and service! yay:)

Why does every moment have to be so hard?

Firstly, I want to say thank you for actually taking the time to come here and read about my sad and sorry life (made all the more apparent by events of this past week), because it really means a lot to me. It is not my intention to lament about how life is a bitch, so please understand that I'm just in the middle of a very painful emotional swing at this point in time.

The exams took place this week, and needless to say, I was placing quite some hope on them. To say it simply, I've never been massacred so badly since ACS(I) days, and I'm very disappointed in myself. (only geog was reasonably do-able for me, and even then I can't be sure...) As I reflect upon reading week and the exam week itself, I realise that I could have done more in some ways, and I could have been more dilligent during the term time. It was not a very fun time for me, because everything was study, study, study, and yet I've fallen short of my own expectations because I took short-cuts along the way (and did some things that I was never meant to.)

Now that exams are over, I realise that I've messed up something big time (church stuff), and I've only a few hours to repair the damage before the meeting when I've to provide an update. The reason for such was that exams took up so much of my time during the week that I actually forgot about it, and was reminded about it suddenly around last evening (not a very nice end to an already horrible day). The fault is mine alone and I don't deny that.

However, I'm starting to think about my commitments (you know what mine are, and unlike you people, mine do not include wakeboarding, CSC or PRU). I've realised that I may have taken on more than I can handle, and it's not going to be doing others a favour if it continues this way. Service is a great priviledge, and I don't deny that for a moment, but I am a strong believer in the need to be faithful as a student during this season of life. Therefore, I've made a potentially painful decision that if I do not maintain a CAP 4.0 for Sem 1 (that is required to stay in my course at the end of first year), I'm going to cut my commitments drastically, because I've failed to show that I can handle them, and I therefore do not deserve them. I do not know what the results will be (only God knows), but I leave it all up to Him, and am prepared to accept the consequences of my own actions (or lack of them).

Last but not least, certain issues are bothering me as they have done since the middle of the year (my OG mates, Daniel, Aayush and Garima will know what I'm talking about). It is hard to concentrate on what I need to do when these cause me to become emo at the most inconvenient of times. I still trust, hope and wait.

I don't know when I'll recover from this (if I actually do, hopefully before Youth Camp), but I'm grateful for those of you who have tried to brighten up my life and showed concern for me. Incidently, it was quite recently that I started using the beautifully decorated birthday card from my wonderful OG mates as my laptop wallpaper, because I needed a constant reminder that I had friends like you, and as I read your encouraging messages, I really thank God for all of you and how you've been a blessing to me:)

The necessity of a near deadline calls me, but I simply wish for rest. and your company...

New Beginnings

First & foremost, let me say this: O-Week 2008 was awesome to the end's degree!!! =))) I really love all my OG mates. The "fresher" freshies (my new friends!) really brought the OG culture to a whole new level, and they're really nice people, too. Even though I had to miss certain sections of O-week due to other commitments, I really appreciate how you guys helped me assimilate back into the group and join in the fun when I returned even though I had missed like more than half the day (especially thanks to Amer for helping me find my way on sat when I returned after BB, and was running around campus like a headless chicken in the mid-day sun:p) As the song goes, "the love of Rasino will never end", so hope that we'll be friends 4ever! :D

P.S. yumcha yesterday was gre8t! enjoyed seeing all of you again ~

...lots of money$, Rasino, Let's Go!!!

At the end of special sem, I can only look back and (c'mon what am I talking about? it's 3 months made to sound like 3 years..) see lessons learnt that can help me as I start uni proper. Firstly, it's not about working hard but working smart, as the best effort channeled in the wrong direction will get nowhere (EG1413, 2008). Secondly, never trust that the lecturer will set the exam based on what he teaches, as he may expect you to consult reference though he mentions none (GEK2505, 2008). I can only thank God that I didn't do as badly for the latter as I thought I would. Thirdly, never assume that I alone am right especially in a group setting (EG1413, 2008), as assignment 2 speaks for itself. Forthly and finally, great friends in tutorials make life bearable (EG1413, 2008), as the laughter is a great way to dissolve the stress. Look forward to making many more:)

The first week of NUS life (after o-week) has been, well, interesting, and I'm still getting used to things that will be a constant feature of my time here, such as the shuttle-runs between LT11 and LT7A under the afternoon sun. Btw, please jio me for lectures if you can, ya? cos I spent 2 of them alone..*sob*

Btw, a big thank you to all (especially at church) who showed concern for me and my family during the recent bereavement a couple of weeks ago. Really thank God for you guys:)

I may not make it through the night, I won't go home without you..

The Falling Leaves...

I was walking by AS4 after class today, just for memories' sake. It took me awhile but I finally figured out where the 6th floor was. When I walked down the same corridor that we had been forced to back into that night in Arts Camp, and I saw the shape of the corridor and what was really there, I really felt like a total idiot for being so freaked out that night.

The corridor had a T-junction in the middle and an L-junction at the end, which is why we didn't see any red lights when we looked straight down the corridor. The toilet where we met the ghost (incidently, it was a female toilet) looked perfectly normal, but I couldn't go in for obvious reasons.

Ohwells, but the important part was that I learnt something about myself that night. (quoting from Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince) we fear darkness because we fear the unknown. I was so freaked out simply because I could not see, and I had let my imagination run wild. It may also be an accurate reflection on how I have been responding to my problems in life.

This reminded me of part of a poem that was printed on my school diary in primary school:

And He replied: "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be better to you than a light and safer than a known way."

Too FASS for You

Arts Camp '08 was awesome from beginning til end, and the only thing was that it ended too soon :( I still can't get the camp mood out of my mind, along with the nostalgia of remembering the wonderful people that I spent so many fun times with.

As I walked by NUS today on the way back from BB @ ACS(I), I saw the soccer fields and it brought back so many memories about the final war games that we had (the last official program excluding clubbing). I couldn't help but think about Julie's final talk with R-house before the air/sea strikes, where she made us all touch our hearts and asked what we felt, and although I knew what the expected answer was, I felt this really strong sense of warmth and friendship towards the people that I saw around me, especially my OG mates. It then came to me very strongly that I had enjoyed the camp because I had enjoyed the friends so much more than the activities themselves, and I really treasure that moment.

I was headed to KRGH to meet with my Mum & Dad, and the route I took there brought me through the central forum and the park, which brought back even more memories for me (the countless cheering sessions, mambo, mass dance, night games, walking back to SH with the group, the list goes on...) I know that I enjoyed you guys because I began to miss you all like crazy from the moment I arrived home.

On the last day (when I finally decided that I would pon class that morning, because I would not want to miss the last day of camp for anything in the world), I enjoyed it the most, because it was a culmination of everything that we had gone through (shouting ourselves dry despite not knowing each other well initially, running from place to place, playing all sorts of crazy games, talking, joking, being freaked out by ghosts in the 6th floor toilet, doing random stuff, splashing in the sea, late night suppers, mambo/mass/club dancing, getting wasted, and most of all to have done it all together as friends). As different people shared about the camp (and some got real emo), it really showed how much we treasure each other even though we've only known each other for like 5 days. I admit I almost lost it when they made us sing "if we hold on", and I have been feeling rather emo since last night after ben&jerrys.

I somehow felt different today due to all the emo-ness (not just because my throat is still killing me). When I was talking to my BB boys today after parade, I was trying as hard as possible to keep a natural tone and I had to actually tell myself "stop it, jon. control yourself. not here!" I can only forward to seeing you guys again soon!

As Arts Camp ends, come whatever,
We will still be friends forever

give me one moment in time..

Had chances to meet up with people lately (fun!), and it is then that I realise how much I missed them. Of late, certain issues have been haunting me and I wish that they would all just go away and leave me alone :(

On friday, i met up with Oliver, Charles, Nic Chen and the BB Y3s for Kung Fu Panda @ GV Vivo. (omg, it was so good I would watch it again if I had the chance. anyone wants?;) It was sort of a post LTC celebration, and it was great to see them again. Lunched at food republic (the food there is heavily overpriced), then they still had the room for McDonalds (arrghhh! ) so we headed in that direction where i managed to abstain (thankfully!), and play around with Yuguraj (glad he's not going away yet). Then I made my biggest mistake of taking 61 from Vivo, which is a horrible way to go home from there. In the end, I just got off and cabbed home.

I was supposed to meet Jason and Nic Tan for lunch at City Hall on sunday, but I got the date wrong and went there on saturday (a full 24 hours early), so train-ed back to NUS and worked on random stuff in the library until it was time for YAF. The next day, rushed to city hall immediately after church, but I was still late in meeting them, so I asked them to go to the place first (which was at Grand Plaza Parkroyal, great food but overpriced). It was great catching up with them, and hearing how things are back in Army (and with all the changes that have taken place, I can only thank God that I'm out xD) We went to tcc @ funan after that where we ended up until ~5pm. (btw, don't ever order the ice blended seseme crap, cos it tastes horrible)

Lunched with Oliver and Joel yesterday at FIsh & Co Park Mall, where we talked about a lot of stuff, especially our ministry in BB (i call it soul care). That reminds me, BB Cares is coming up again soon, and there is much to be done at all levels. (btw, that place is a great for meeting people in the afternoon cos it's not crowded, and the glass walls allow you to watch the world go by.)

Had youth sunday prac on monday and tuesday (which was arranged rather last-minute cos of everyone's schedule), and the final one's going to be on saturday, so pray that all goes well and we learn to work better together.

Ok, I need to finish up my first uni assignment (first impressions!), lest I end up submitting crap tomorrow.

My Estacy

This place is so dead, that I half want to dump this and start again at a new site. Guess I've been too busy with everything (i.e. family, friends, BB, church, myself, slack time) that I never made time to post anything. That's why I'm quite surprised that you still know that this place exists (yes, YOU!)

Ok, now let me attempt to give an update of some of the more interesting things that are happening in my life.

Thursday, 220508
Today was Dad's birthday:) yay! He's reaching the big 60 in the same year that I'm reaching 21 (but I still consider myself a teen, and will always be one). But he still had to work today..bleah.. Anyway, we celebrated with him at Mandarin Oriental's melt cafe in the evening, which really had the biggest collection of food that I had seen in years (ok, maybe not, but it was huuuuge anyway) Wishing him many more years of God's goodness, and looking forward to celebrating his 90th! by which time, I'll have to come to terms with the fact that I'm no longer a teen D:

Friday, 230508
One of the more fun days that I've had in a while (and I need many more). Went swimming in the morning, but I got rather lazy after around 30 laps, so I went to slack in the indoor jacuzzi (which is super fun when the place is empty. you can actually float around in it, and simply stare at the ceiling) I headed to nus after that where I failed to get any work done at the library...bleah again. Then, I had to rush to queensway sc to get some coloured maps photocopied for the ubin trip the next day. To cut a long story short, the quality and price and waiting time were all way above my expectations, but I got what I needed in the end which was just fine.

I went back to school (btw, if I ever mention school, I'm always referring to ACS(I)) on 197 cos I didn't want to wait for 33, but the back gate facing AYE was locked, and some smart fella had blocked up the drain access behind the gate, so I had no choice but to walk all around the school to the front gate. (btw, it sucks when it's in the middle of the day and the heat is killing). It turned out that today was PTM, and only the Y6s had school. Finally settled in the BB room, and did what I needed to before settling down to study (which I did manage to do! yay!)

After people started leaving and the room became almost empty again, I decided to make a move to. Only after leaving then I realised my next activity was at church in the evening. ohwells, I went to church anyway and gate-crashed celine's worship rehearsal. Before I knew it, evening came around and it was time for bowling! Dinner at the food centre (actually I just watched others eat, cos I wasn't that hungry), then over to the rec centre nearby. All the bowling lanes were like completely taken up, so we went to play pool instead. Pool is a super addictive game, and I didn't want to stop even when bowling was available. btw, liyan, miin and hansheng were gre8t company!

I sort of felt a sense of dread thinking about waking up early for ubin the next day..(shhh..)

Saturday, 240508
Waking up today was surprisingly easy. Although dragging myself out of the house proved a little more challenging. Had admin briefing first thing in the morning, then the Y1s marked their attendance with COS/DY COS for the first time (but their turnout today was like..bleah) I don't remember much about the trip there, cos I was worrying a little about how it would turnout, given that we were behind time. The boat ride was what had me fully awake, cos the sea air was awesomeness. Anyway, we walked and walked...(to cut a long story short) and it passed faster than I expected. The return journey to school was longer cos the pie was jammed. I hung around in school for awhile before going to the club to wash up and meet parents. The next day was sunday, and I was supposed to do pa for service (i think i need a break from that soon!)

Ok, that's as much as I can manage for now.

Study jchan!!! study!!!!

I Hate It All

Life is a BITCH!!!

I feel like jumping off a cliff.. (don't worry, it's just another emo comment)

Random Post

I have a new-found respect for people who are good in diving (as in the swimming pool kind). I know it's totally random, but let me explain just how.

Due to my recent inactivity, I decided to go swimming at the nearby vancouver aquatic center at false creek this morning, thinking it would be either empty or at the very least have fewer people there. I was really unprepared for the packed pool that awaited me, with about 3-4 people sharing a lane. The lanes are such that if you stopped halfway, the people behind you would catch up with you and you would feel like you're blocking their way. After I did my laps, I decided to get out to avoid the human congestion, and the nearest (ok fine, the only) empty pool around was the dive tank.

I was bobbing around aimlessly at first, then I looked at the springboards and thought "why don't I give it a try?" After all, I used to watch people doing it on TV, and it looks pretty do-able. That's when I discovered that it is much, much harder than it looks. I'm no pro, so I didn't target anything fancy, just a plain simple vertical entry.

The first thing you notice about a spring board is that it starts oscillating from the moment you walk on it, and you have to make an effort to keep your balance. The second thing you notice (ok, maybe that's just me) is that the board's oscillations do not necessarily co-operate with you, and you have to make sure that you choose the right instant to get maximum lift, or you will just flop. Then there is the problem of not knowing when you are vertical in the air (this is without stunts). If you are truly vertical, you should not be able to see anything in front, but before you can make sure that your positioning is ok, the water comes at you with a sudden crash. (gravity waits for no man) It is then that you get your answer:

If you were vertical: the sudden change in depth pressure makes your ears explode in pain, and you hasten to get back to the surface. I only managed this twice out of dunno how many times, and even then I couldn't keep the splash down.

If you flopped: there will be a huge splash, and you feel like you fell face down on the pavement, but you won't end up very deep

I can't imagine how the pros do all their fancy stuff in competitions and still cut the water like a knife. ~ respect. Maybe I can try to learn it when I've got fewer commitments...one day.

Holiday Post

Whoa...looking at the date of my last post, I can see how I've been neglecting this place. No wonder no one comes here anymore.

I'm currently on the longest overseas holiday that I've had in a long time, from 29 Mar to 21 Apr (that's like ~3.5 weeks) My Dad's brought my family on a long tour of the U.S., and it the journey was:

San Francisco --> Montery --> Yosemite National Park --> Las Vegas --> Grand Canyon --> Flagstaff --> Phoenix --> Vancouver

It's been a really fun trip so far, and I'm loving every moment of it, except putting on weight due to inactivity.I'm currently in Vancouver, and will be there until this Saturday. I must go running more often...

Overwhelmed...(& stressed)

I just came back from dinner with Charles and Nic, where we talked about BB stuff. (Well, the title says it all.) In summary, I believe God has called me to serve in BB for a reason, and He allowed me to go through 9 years as a boy & 1+ years as a TO to prepare me for the OIC role that he has given me this year. As Charles told me earlier, the difference between the role of an OIC and that of a TO is very great. There is just so much to do (calling the boys, home visitations, planning parade, CE program, prayer), and I sometimes wonder how the other OICs cope. I hardly know the boys well enough at this stage (oops, confession time), but yet these are the boys that God has given me to be reach out to, to care for, to pray for and to be accountable for. I have much to learn as He has much to teach me.

Now I can't sleep, so I'm starting to plan for the Year 1 CE program for the parade on 16 Feb.

I can't do this without you, Lord. Teach me to depend on You.

Reviving My Dead Blog

I finally decided that i'm going to bring this place back to life (though I doubt if anyone actually reads it now). Much has happened since I last posted, the most significant of which being that I'm now 1 month+ away from freedom.

As I recount God's faithfulness over the past year, I'm also excited about what's going to happen in the coming year. In addition to uni term starting soon, my ministry areas for 2008 include youth ministry & worship at church, and I got the Year 1 OIC post at BB(i know, you aren't the first to be shocked at the news) My schedule is going to be really packed, so I decided that I won't stay in a hall in uni, because I know that I can't study when others are having fun (who can?).

I'm also slowly learning how to improve on handling relationships with people (i used to be apprehensive about making phone calls and talking to people whom I didn't know that well, but ever since I joined BB, i have made up to 40 within the span of a couple of days) In Army, I learnt to accept the fact that I can't please everyone in the world, and I'm willing to let people who simply want to be angry for no reason be.

I just finished a really long and tiring weekend (only saturday, actually.) Firstly, had BB on saturday morning. It was the Year 1s' first parade, and I was doing worship with Nic Chen & Ben Sim. The Year 1s are quite a bubbly lot this year, and I hope that I'll get to know all of them better soon:) Followed by that, rushed down to church to rehearse for MTM worship with Bennett, then there was pre-MTM prayer time (before which I realised I forgot to type the slides for worship. horrors. thankfully, Celine came to my rescue) I felt MTM didn't go too badly (in my opinion at least) It was my first time doing worship team equipping, and the topic we chose was on helping worship leaders to prepare and lead worship. There was much laughter all round:) I only realised how tired I was when I went hope, and I collapsed straight onto the bed and almost didn't hear my phone ringing even though it was right next to me.

Another week is here. To work (again)

More Interesting Facts

You Are An ISFP

The Artist You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now). You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children. Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life. Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs. In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily. You have an underlying love for all living things, and it's easy for you to accept someone into your heart. At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone. You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer. How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive

What's Your Personality Type?

Interesting Facts

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

http://www.blogthings.com/thesesamestreetpersonalityquiz/">The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Pachelbel Rant

Recent Happenings

My grandmother passed away a week ago, and she is now with the Lord. We all thank God for her life, and most of all for her salvation 6 years ago. We had a wake for her on wednesday, followed by her cremation on thursday and a sea burial on friday. I got the day off from army on thursday and friday, and I hope that the work was not piling while I was away.
I want to say thanks to Siyan, Matthan, J.Lee and CZ who came on wednesday. You guys were so wonderful during this time, and I really appreciate it:)

Another week becons, and I look foward to Australia...

Another Long Day

My work day started at 0645, because I was on marshaller duty for the GS Life Run at my camp. I got up half-asleep and had to drag myself all the way to Gombak, and up the hill.

When I walked through the entrance to camp, the RP actually raised his rifle (a way of paying compliments) and greeted me with a "Good Morning, Sir!" I acknowledged the greeting and continued walking on until it suddenly struck me, why was he paying compliments to me? Maybe it was because I wasn't in uniform then, and he was playing it safe. Anyway, things like this never fail to make my day:)

I'm at the end of yet another long day. Isn't it amazing how work never ends in the Army? Sometimes, I wonder if I'm juggling too much, with Army, Church, BB, family and friends each taking up a large part of my life. I wish that I could commit more time to the last 4 items on that list, but too often I find myself out of time and energy. Drat.

Who am I - Casting Crowns

Updates

So much has happened since I last posted, in Army, at church and in BB. I'm glad that G2 Time Out is finally a thing of the past, things are going more or less smoothly in Army, and that the end of the year is finally drawing near.

Since 100%, God has used events in my life to teach me how to trust Him to provide, and I want to share one such instance here.

I was scheduled to play for service on the day of AHM (which was a Sunday), but all the NSFs in my department got arrowed for admin duty nearer to the date. From the looks of it, I would be fortunate to be released in the late morning, and the chances of my getting to church in time even for 2nd service would be rather slim. I told Uncle Kenneth (the worship leader for that sunday), Siyan and Jotham about my concern of not being able to come for service on the actual day, but they said it was all right and told me not to worry about it, and that made me feel better. On the morning of AHM, time seemed to drag by, and I was praying to God that if it was His will, I would be released from duty in time to get to church for service. It was quite a struggle for me waiting there early in the cold Sunday morning, not knowing if I would be able to make it or not, but there was nothing I could do but trust. As it turned out, we all got released from our duty earlier than expected, and God provided through Jason (my colleague) who drove me all the way to church, as it was raining. I got to church with half an hour to spare, giving me plenty of time to freshen up and prepare. Some friends later asked me how I managed to play for sevice, let alone come to church on the day of AHM itself. God truly provides!

December is sure going to be a packed month for me. First there's youth camp from 11th - 15th Dec, but I won't be able to attend the whole camp, so I'll try and drop in as much as I can. I'm glad the camp will be so near home:). Then my family is going to Australia until just before Christmas. After Christmas, SLR and BB Officers' Retreat clash exactly on 27th - 29th Dec, and I really do not want to miss either, but even then, it is all subject to whether boss will let me off on those days. Oh well...

Indescribable

100%

The day is finally here, and I'm just so excited about it. Yup, it's time for 100% praise & worship, tonight at 7pm, The Bible Church. This will be my first 100% ever, and I'm really grateful to God for allowing me to serve in this ministry. At this point, I want to say thanks to Ruqin, Jotham, Marcus and all who have helped me and encouraged me in one way or another as I learnt the bass over the past few months:)

It's just wonderful to see how the band has grown, and how I myself have been ministered to by these young people filled with a passion for God, and for music. Although some of us may have had unfortunate events or setbacks recently, we know that our God is faithful, and that we should trust Him and keep praying for one another. I thank all of you in the band for praying for me, and I sense that slowly but surely, God is removing my worldly attitude from me.

Raise your hands all you nations,
shout to God all creation,
How awesome is the Lord most high

Updates

Wow, I haven't posted for a long time! I may even have forgotten how to write properly, but here goes. A lot has happened in Army since, some good and some bad, but I know that I'm having it much better than many could ask for, so I won't complain.

My weeks have been quite busy with church commitments. I remember that last week was the most packed week that I ever had; with LTM, 100% prac and worship rehearsal on 3 consecutive days of the week. On those days, I would hope like mad that I would not get held back overtime too long at the office, but in the end I managed to make it on time for all 3 days, and that's what matters.

On Saturday, I went to "a symphony of grace" at panpac. This is an Eagles fund raising event, and it was simply great! The ACJC Concert Band was playing, and they were good as ever. Uncle Peter gave a great presentation of the Eagles ministry after that. Come to think of it, I miss AC a lot. Friends, teachers, chilling out in the void deck, occasional skipping classes, getting scolded on the pitch and the late nights in the hub are all the wonderful memories of the past two years.

By the way, I moved house recently for the first time in my life. I'm now staying at depot road, and will be for the next 4 months until my house is renovated. Living in a place away from home sure puts me in a holiday mood:)

There's 100% prac tomorrow again, and I'm looking forward to it!

My ambition...

was shattered last saturday night. When I saw the NUS letter on the table when I came home, I was wondering whether it was going to be an acceptance or a rejection, and I saw just by the first half of the first page that it was to be a rejection:( My worst fear had come true: the interview (and possibly the essay test) had killed it.

My parents were very encouraging, and tried not to make me feel bad, but you know how it feels to have your dream shattered in just 1 second by just 2 words on a piece of paper that determines the rest of your life.

The accompanying NTU letter didn't make me feel any better (turned out I got the bad news first, and the good news didn't help after that).

Still, I thank God that I'm not left out in the cold. My Mum said to see this as part of God's plan for me, and to know how blessed I am with what I have now.

On a brighter note, congrats to all my friends who made it in! I know you'all will be great doctors:)

Reflections on the Interview

I am at the end of a most packed and tiring day. Today was the day of my NUS interview, which made it the day that I both looked forward to and dreaded. Incidently, this was the first time in my life attending an interview where the stakes were high, and the pressure to perform was just so real. I did not see anyone I knew today, which was in sharp contrast to sunday's essay test. I tried to arrive early today, but by the time I located the office, it was almost time to begin. The letter didn't give the exact venue, so I actually walked past it without knowing that I was at my destination. I was wondering what the attire should be, and for a moment, I was contemplating No. 3, but then I decided to play safe, and I'm so glad I did. Almost everyone there was formally dressed.

My first interview was in this board room, where the lights were set to a rather serious atmosphere. There were 3 profs across the table, and I was alone on the other side. Thankfully, they put me at ease by starting off with something that I was comfortable talking about, but they slowly went deeper into issues such as why I wanted to study medicine. One of them asked me about the bird flu epidemic, and whether Singapore was at risk. I was caught here, because I haven't had time to read since enlistment. There was only so much that I could discuss before I had to admit that I hadn't read much about it recently. I tried to go along the lines that Singapore was still at risk simply because it had birds, and it had people. The interviewer then asked whether there was any evidence to prove this, but I said that there wasn't any evidence to prove that SARS posed a risk to the entire population, either. I hope that I wasn't marked down too badly for that. By God's grace, they accepted my answers without much criticism or probing.

My second interview was in the next building, and was less intimidating than the first. The questions took a slant towards what had not been covered in the first interview, and more personal issues addressed here. For example, I was given the situation where 3 people arrived at emergency for treatment: A 70-year old lady who is almost breathless, a teenage girl who had just tried to take her own life and a man in his 50s who was suffering from a heart problem, and was asked who I would treat first if I were a doctor. In the end, I said that it is important to have meaning in life, and that someone who has no meaning has not really lived. The girl who tried to take her own life evidently had lost her meaning in life, and would be deprived of living a full life should she pass away, which is why I believed she needed the treatment most.

The same interviewer went on to describe a situation where doctors have their lives dominated by their careers, and have very little time left for their families. She gave me another scenario of a doctor who said that he cared for his family, but his wife gave him a talking to and told them that he had been absent in so many important occasions in their family, such as the children's birthdays, the children's graduations, PTM, their anniversary, and a long list of events... and ended by questioning whether he really cared for them or not. I tried to say that it is the little things that make a difference to show that the doctor cares for his/her family even though he can't be there all the time. I hope none of the interviewers are reading this now, but I have begun to wonder whether she actually had much more than a mere point in bringing this up today. This is something that I had not given serious consideration, and the realisation of it can be quite daunting.

My uni applications are all in God's hands now, and I can only trust that the Lord will provide, no matter what the outcome is.

Great is thy faithfulness, O Lord
Great is thy faithfulness.

Thank God

There's so much to thank God for. Firstly and most importantly, Jesus' resurrection on easter sunday made it possible for us to have eternal life, which makes us forever grateful.
Secondly, MAJ Chew gave me time off tomorrow for the appointment, which I'm really thankful for, beacuse I really didn't expect it.
Thirdly, my driving test date is finally in sight, and I actually have hope of passing, given my performance at the last lesson, ceteris paribus. lol.
Last but not least, I just found out yesterday that I'm shortlisted for medicine. Yay! It's all in God's hands now. The only thing is that my interview date clashes with my driving test date, which cannot be changed without incurring a 4 month wait, so I hope that they can change my interview date for me.
Another abrupt ending. I kind of forgot how to end properly since I stopped writing essays not too long ago.

gym @ panpac

It's that time of the year again when we remember that Christ died for our sins and rose again on the 3rd day, so that we can have eternal life. I hope we haven't become indifferent after doing this year after year, as Uncle Soo Yeong said yesterday. My good friday was a really packed day. First, there was church, and I attended 2nd service, followed by lunch with the worship team at mac's. My mum was apalled that I was eating fast food twice in two days, so I didn't dare tell her that it was actually three times and not twice:P Anyway, I had BB senior's reunion at zhic's house immediately after that, and it was simply a great time of fellowship with each other. That took me until nearly evening, when I came home.

This morning, I went with mum to gym at panpac. The gym there is really nice, and the equipment is new, but I still think that the AC gym beats it any day. The pool is always in the shade, which means that it's a great place to relax. After that, we had lunch at marina, and then got some movies from esplanade library. It's really such a big change from being a student, where I enjoy free afternoons. But then, God knows what I'll see at the office on monday.

In the garden

I never realised how pleasant one north park is, that is, until today, where I spent a considerable amount of time. I had to attend the MOE psychometric test today, where I knew no one, and I felt really lost. The first three tests were designed in such a way that we would have trouble finishing on time, but then maybe it's just that I'm slow. By the afternoon was over, I felt well and truly psychoed. lol. Anyway, my parents would not arrive for another half an hour, so I thought I would spend the time at the nice park across the road. The park is really nice, with a great view of the surroundings and the pleasant atmosphere. With some help from coca-cola and creative, the park is really the ideal place to enjoy the nice saturday afternoon.

I'm still rather blur at work. It's quite a big change from tekong, to keep seeing officers with 2 or 3 crabs walking past. The other day, I actually walked past a general without realising it, which means that I also forgot to greet him. Oops. Big mistake. The computer system is really giving me big headaches. Tomorrow is sunday, which means that I better sleep early tonight to avoid visiting dreamland in church tomorrow.

Recent Happenings

There's a lot to talk about since the last time I posted, which was before enlistment. Now, I've got a new occupation, new friends, and of course, a new hairstyle. I'm going to write this entry in parts, with the more recent being on top.

Passage 1
I just came back from worship rehearsal at church. Today, it looked like the sound system did not want to cooperate with me, resulting in almost all the mics not working after being plugged in. -sigh- So, I decided to try relying on cordless mics, but then they run on batteries which drain very fast, so that won't be a permanent solution to the situation. The church computer also had some problems setting up and reading data, so it wasn't really an easy time for me. Or maybe it was just me. Maybe NS caused me to loose touch with ordinary life so much that I forgot. Anyway, it didn't go too badly (by my standards anyway) haha

I'm quite happy with the way that things have turned out. I got posted to MINDEF, where I work in the G2 Army unit, which means that I get to come home everyday. I'm rather enjoying my work, which deals with admin and projects, and of course a fair share of restricted / confidential / secret info. (which we're all under oath not to disclose) There's really so much to learn, and I had a vast information overload on my first two days of work. I got sent for a course on my second day, and I turned out to be the only recruit there, which explains why I was so lost. Never mind, I will take things slowly.

Passage 2
Last monday was my enlistment day, the day which marked the big change from civilian life to military life. The instructions in the enlistment notice told us to go to pasir ris interchange and catch the free bus to the SAF ferry terminal, but I didn't fancy being packed onto public buses with complete strangers, so my parents parked at the beach park instead, and we took a morning walk to the ferry terminal where we had a long wait before we got on the ferry.

Anyway, we got to tekong, and the parents got a tour of the school grounds, while we were all sent to the main auditorium first to be trained to sit properly, and the proper conduct during the oath-taking ceremony. The sergeants used lines like "Eh, you sitting at a coffeeshop, is it?!" when some people were slacking in their posture. Anyway, they taught us to shout the oath out (yes, shout) just before the ceremony itself, and it was quite a miracle that everyone learned so fast. After the rehearsal, the sergeant then asked "Who here is from nanyang poly?", and when a hand was raised, he immediately asked "Eh what's going on at your school ah? Unbecoming!" Anyway, the rest of the first day went like clockwork, and the rest of my time there was quite enjoyable in many ways, especially with all the jokes by the WOs. And at tekong, they really feed us too well. I had trouble finishing almost all of my meals, and that was quite a waste of food. By the way, I'm in Leopard Company, Platoon 2, Section 1.

One evening, when my company was having dinner, they started doing flag lowering, so everyone was suppose to freeze wherever they were, and keep still until the whole thing was over. However, I was at the other side washing my hands, so I didn't know that they were doing flag lowering, until a COS shouted and pointed in my direction. I just started walking back to my seat when he pointed at me and shouted:"Stop! You over there!" Just then, I heard the trumpet playing retreat, then I realised what was happening. Well, you can't blame me, right? It was only my second day there. The irony was that after I complied, the COS started walking around while everyone else was keeping still.

It's late now, and I'm out of things to write, so it's the end.

Last Post

This will be my last post before enlistment tomorrow morning, so let me talk a little more today. Looks like I'll only have a week or so at tekong, which I'm thankful for. That'll mean that I'll have more time on my hands during NS, for which I am definately not complaining:) I thank God for all the wonderful people who have encouraged me and prayed for me this past week, especially my DG - you all really mean so much to me!

Youth praise this morning was something that I also thank God for. I had never organised the rehearsal in such a last minute fashion before. I was counting on thursday evening, but then it turned out that the only days where the others could make it was tuesday and friday, and I couldn't make it on friday. All this took place on monday night, so you can imagine how last minute it was. It was at this point that I realised that I should have called everyone earlier, as I could have seriously disrupted their schedules...oops! Then on saturday afternoon after swimming, I realised that I had forgotten to get the projector for sunday, which was only some hours away ...oops again! but thankfully Celine had already booked it. So everyone came this morning and gave their best for the Lord:) After youth praise, which eneded early, we all went to the market across the road, and that was a really great time of fellowship before service.

If I can come home next weekend, I'll have more to talk about, hopefully without letting out any state secrets in the process:P So, it's time for me to see for myself what so many guys who went before me have talked about. Anyway, I'll probably not see everything this week.

My time

My days as a civilian are numbered. Right now, I'm still with St. Lukes Eldercare, and I think I'm doing fine, even though I had trouble keeping awake in the afternoon today:P The past few days have been rather eventful, especially sunday. On Sunday, I visited NUS open house in the afternoon, where I met quite a lot of friends from AC, and they really made my day more than anything else, especially since I came alone. I attended the last med talk with Caleb, where the professor did quite a bit of negative advertisment such as long and irregular hours, and the long road to specialisation, the straight-A students who disliked the course, and all. For a moment, I even came close to thinking that I'd rather apply to science and go for major in chem. After that, I made my way to ACS(I) to visit TA2. The 2006 cohort of sec 1s have a really impressive drill standard considering that they have only joined BB for less than 3 months.

I just found out that I'm leading worship at church on March 26th. I pray that everything may go well.

The Big Day

Well, the big day has come and gone ('A' Level results), and there is just so much to thank God for. He gave me more than what I could have expected, and the glory is His alone. Our God is a faithful God! (My mum had a hard time believing my GP grade)

I just want to use this opportunity to give credit to all who have helped me along the way in one way or another. Firstly, to all my teachers who took time to do consultation with me, some having to rearrange their schedules to fit me in, I want to say a big thank you. Mrs Beatrice Choong, Mrs Low CS, Mdm Esther Leow, Mr Wong TH and Ms Loke, thanks for teaching me what I needed to know. Secondly, to those who helped me out in questions when I was stuck, like Russell, Kenneth Tay, Kenny, Jon Tui, Joyce and many others, I really appreciate all your help. I could not have done without you. Thirdly, to those who allowed me the privilege of helping you out with your tough questions, especially during the period leading up to the 'A's, it is thanks to you all that I was kept on my toes, and I also learnt much from you. You all aided me in my revision, and were a much greater help to me than you know, so thanks:) I also could not have done without you. Last but definitely not least, my wonderful study group provided me with the motivation to study. Through the many study sessions in the void deck and the hub, as well as the times when we went to ghim moh for lunch, as well as the chat sessions over dinner, and the times you helped me when I needed help, it was you all who made studying fun. Many thanks:) And to so many who prayed for me, I want to say the biggest thank you! You were such a blessing to me.

I hope to see you all at some time or other, be it at bbdc, or elsewhere.

Raining

Yes, it was raining today. Heavily. And I had another driving prac today. Of all days, I just had to choose today to knock down poles at parallel parking:(

AT

I think I quite entertained my driving instructor today. I had my first auto-T lesson today, and it was supposed to be a breeze, but I was just too used to manual. For a start, I nearly tried to shift the gear after the initial acceleration. Then at the parking lot, I did handbrake and neutral when it was supposed to be in parking gear. The climax came when I did the part where you have to stop while ascending the circuit slope, and then I asked how to get the biting point. lol. How much of a comedian am I?
On the bright side, I didn't knock down any poles today.

On and on

Well, a lot has certainly happened since I last posted, which was about one MTM ago:P (The next one is this afternoon) For those of you who don't know, I'm currently working as a volunteer in St Luke's Eldercare at Clementi West, and I'm rather enjoying it. Well, it's also partially because I can't get a job, as no one wants to employ someone who has only 2+ months before NS. The day before yesterday, AES (class 4/7 if I'm not wrong) came over for CIP, and they did a really great job of entertaining the elderly people. They played pass the parcel, which although is a rather common game, managed to hold the attention of the old folks for significantly longer than I succeded at doing when I played zonk with them the other day.
For driving, I'm currently at 3.04 now (the directional change thingy). Most of my friends I met there are already at stage 5 and booked their test already. And I haven't even done DS-DS and AT1.01 & 2. -sigh- I really need to work faster and harder at this. Yesterday, I did crank course, s-course, and reversing. The reversing part was rather screwed up. The instructor brought me out to the centre car park, then chose 2 vacant vertical parking lots, and asked me to reverse into one of them. In the circuit, a crash is denoted by the sound of falling poles, but I would hear the sound of metal crashing if I missed the parking lot here, since the neighbouring car was not too far away. It was raining and the windows were misted up. I opened my window to look at the rear, and then the rain started beating in, so I had to close the window again. Then I released the clutch a little too much, and as such the car reversed too fast, and the instructor had to brake for me.
'O' Level results are out, which means that 'A' Levels are not far away. I won't pretend that I'm not nervous about this. It haunted me on quite a few occasions even in december. But let's just trust God with our results. His will be done and not mine

All in a day's work

Speaking of work, I still don't have a job. :( But I'm thankful that Mum and Dad are willing to send me for driving, because the cost of the whole thing is freaking me out. As in, the cost of two practical lessons is equivalent to the cost of fueling a car for a month. But I enjoy it, and for that, I'm thankful:)
I just had 2 consecutive practical sessions today. The road was quite fun today, but I'm still not confident of stopping at the red light and changing gears. I also tend to use the horn quite a fair bit. Actually, I'm only supposed to use it to warn others of danger, and the reason why I use it is because of the danger that I'm putting them in:P For example, there was a middle-aged malay man who was crossing the road without using a pedestrian crossing, and he was limping; so I suppose he was justified in just crossing the road like that, but then along comes someone like me who is not at all confident an e-brake, and I just had to warn him that a hazard was coming towards him in the form of a learning driver who takes the road like a fish to a desert, but I hope he didn't interpret it the wrong way:P Anyway, I did slow down for him. Safety first! I still have a clean safety record:)
I spent the afternoon reading stuff, and I've just completed the martyr's chapel. And I still haven't read the order of the phoenix yet!!! I want to read it asap.
Next practical is tomorrow at 8, so I better set my alarm clock early.

I dunno

I'm getting really physically unfit now. Just this morning, I ran from gombak mrt to the driving place because I thought that I was late, and I nearly got cramps doing it, and I got all hot and flustered by the time I stepped into the place. I think that the people inside thought I had a car breakdown and had to push the car back:P
I really wish for that special something that I'm waiting for now. As CNY appraoches...

Wondering

The past few days have been ok. I'm can't wait to go out with the BB seniors at cine tonight. This will be the third time in my life that I'm playing LAN. I'm going swimming tomorrow, and then I have to do massive revision for final theory evaluation on friday. I somehow wish I was still in school....

Bad and Good

Let me talk about some bad things and some good things...for me, at least....haha.
Firstly, I hate being unemployed. I know now how sucky it feels to be out of a job, and I am determined to avoid this again in future as far as I can help it. Meanwhile, getting a job now will make me really happy. I wished I had asked to do relief teaching before going on holiday. Now, it looks like everything's taken:(
Now on a brighter note, I finally passed my basic theory evaluation. yay! I know I'm very slow in this compared to you'all, especially since I failed my last evaluation with the 90% passing mark:( but I got a perfect score today:) thanks be to God!
I'm trying to occupy my time by reading, especially under pressure from my parents:P
Oh, and there's this very interesting thing I learnt from the book "In His Image". When there is a situation of massive bleeding during surgery, most newcomers would propose exotic surgical tools to overcome it, but an experienced doctor will simply use his thumb and press until the bleeding stops. Why? Because the thumb is readily available (cos everyone has 2 right?), and its use offers a perfect blend of strong pressure and gentle compliancy. There is great temptation to panic under such a situation, but grabbing at vessels and clamping them off with forceps here and there often makes it worse.
Interesting fact. I'm like less then halfway through the book, but it's one of the more interesting books that I'm reading.

The year ahead

I'm back at last from my first around the world trip with my wonderful family. Yay! There's no place like home. However, I'm home one day late, due to our getting pushed onto the next flight back from Vancouver. Let me explain what happened. In Singapore, just before leaving, the check-in person said that our e-tickets had some problem, and said to go to the british airways counter at heathrow, so there we went, and the guy there said that he would issue us new tickets, so he did, but forgot to include the return flight on it, so as a result, our confirmed status got dropped. Knowing that cx889 is almost always overbooked at christmas since it comes from new york, we got pushed to the next flight. My dad tried to inquire, but by then it was too late, and that was how we found out. I feel like slapping that guy at heathrow for screwing up the bookings:( As a result, I couldn't make it back in time for mel's party and the bb sharing session on ns. I feel really terrible about missing both.
I saw the beginning of 2006 on the plane, and in a really unconventional way over the international date line on the way back from Vancouver. Imagine 2005 on one side of the line, and 2006 on the other, and the plane flies into the new year at 900km/h. How did the other passengers welcome back the new year? By sleeping! And it was daytime!
Ok, so we got put up in Hong Kong since there was no connecting flight to Singapore for CX838. That part was ok. Oh yes, the flight schedule showed that we would get an A340 back to Singapore, which I was looking forward to since it would be the first time for me. That is, until we got to the airport, and saw just another A330 sitting at the boarding gate. boo. Ok, I know I'm being fussy here, because normal people don't mind what plane they get as long as it takes them where they want to go, right? even if it means 2 engines over the pacific in the case of SIA. But well, I'm fussy. That's just me.
And I got to catch Love Actually on the way back to Singapore. Only after that did I really appreciate how censored the Singapore version in the cinemas really was. The foreign media is really much more liberal than i thought.
I hope to see you soon:)

In Vancouver

At last, I finally have access to a com. I was supposed to have written this yesterday, but I was so tired that I collapsed in bed immediately after dinner. I'm like really enjoying myself now. Geneva and London were fun, but nothing beats Vancouver. This place is simply great, from the shopping downtown to the parks. Wait a minute...what shopping?....those who know me know that I hate shopping:P
The only complaint that I have is that the familiar Singapore food is rather absent, and since I am rather addicted to spicy food, I really feel the effects of not having it around. Oh, and I don't really know how to say this, but I'll scream if I ever have to see wholemeal bread again in the near future. I mean, I really hate it, and as if I don't see enough of it at home, Grandma also buys it, but I'm going to try my best not to complain.
And just to share some of my muddled thoughts, on the flight from London to Vancouver, it was a full flight with near maximum load, and during take-off, the moment the wheels left the ground, the captain retracted the wheels so loudly that I actually thought that one of the clusters on the undercarridge had dropped of, and I got a little nervous when the plane started vibrating considerably immediately after this. It just isn't like me to let my thoughts run wild like this, right? But thank God nothing of that sort happened.
Going for a walk later with Mom and Auntie Eng. I'm really tired again.

Waiting

Waiting...something that I don't do particularly well. We're going to London tonight at 11:20, and I sort of finished my packing, so I'm just sitting around doing nothing:P Mum's giving the floor an extra sweep, so I think that it's nearly time to go. I hope we get a new plane today, top class cabin crew. I'm hungry, and I don't like to have to wait for dinner.
Oh yes, Yeng Wai and Hil May's wedding went so beautifully yesterday. Everything turned out simply well, and the bride and groom were really looking great. There was so much sincerity as they made their vows to each other, and as they thanked their parents for all that they had done for them. Only thing was that I took a few wrong steps at the beginning of the recessional, which I hope not too many people saw:P Happy day:) Thank God for the wonderful couple:)
By the way, I saw Kevin See at river valley yesterday when we went to buy dinner. I got to chat with him for a while, which was great:)
I'm looking forward to the holiday, and Christmas with Grandma, but I'll miss all my wonderful friends. Hope to see you soon.

Prom

I just came back from Youth Camp today. The theme for this year was knowing God, and I must say that I've certainly learned a lot from this year's camp, and got to know some friends better. In the middle of Youth Camp however, I took leave to go for prom on tuesday. It was certainly the most packed day that I had ever experienced. In the morning, we had this game called civilisation frenzy, which was basically war games in clementi woods, and was quite a lot of fun although I got a little dirty at the end of it. In the afternoon, I went home to wash up, and read harry potter and the half-blood prince for the entire afternoon. Before I knew it, it was already time to go.
I made my way down to ritz, and saw that the lobby was filled with people who were taking pics and were looking great. I almost could not recognise some people at first:P I first saw Alvin Toh, Kevin and DZ at the lobby, then saw Joan, Soon, Mari and Bryan Chua downstairs. From then on, it was an endless stream of pictures until my camera battery died:( I should have remembered to change the batteries before coming. Anyway, I managed to take pictures with most of the people I knew, but did not manage to see everyone due to the time constraint.
I would like to say a big thank you to all my friends in ACJC Class of 2005. I really appreciate you a lot, and I hope we can continue to stay in touch.
After Prom, which passed by too fast, I went to Momo with Jon Tui, Jiade, Daniel, Mel, Joyce, Shu and Kenny. I saw Edwin and Karno outside the door, too. Well, I wasn't really prepared for the deafening music in the club, and I was a little stunned at first. The cigarette smoke was present in large quantities, and the smell of it went home with me:P (I saw some friends smoking there, whom I never knew to be smokers.) Pravin and Ruiwen tried to make me dance, but I was rather unenthusiastic. Sorry to disappoint you guys, I was just really tired, and I have very little confidence when it comes to dancing:P But thanks for trying to get me to dance:) I still have much to learn.
The next day, I was totally out for a good part of the day, and I didn't get much done. This morning was the final day of Youth Camp, when Wei-En challenged us to live our lives in a different way, bearing fruit, because we know God better. There's another rehearsal for Yeng Wai and Hil May's wedding tonight at church, and I also need to study for driving theory.
Hope to catch up with you soon.

I don't know what to do...

I sometimes feel that I am too free, but of course that is impossible. We can be too busy but never too free. I sure appreciate the much slower pace now. Just had senior's reunion last night at oliver and josh's place. Their condo is simply huge and really nice. I really enjoyed the whole evening, the games, the BBQ, as well as the time of worship and sharing. I'm grateful for all my wonderful friends at BB. After that, they went to btp to play lan, while I couldn't due to parental objection=(
Actually, I have quite a packed time ahead of me. Tomorrow, I'm helping YFC with an event at PHS, and that should take me all the way til about 4pm, which means that I am missing a rehearsal for Yeng Wai and Hil May's wedding. Oh well... On saturday, I'm free for a large part of the day. On sunday, the heavy schedule starts. I have youth camp from evening, and I'm leaving on tuesday at lunch time. Then there's prom in the evening, and there's club momo after that until very early (in the morning, I mean) Wednesday, I'm free again, thursday there's the full wedding rehearsal as well as worship rehearsal, saturday is the big day, and then family holiday starts on sunday night. Yay! I'm going to raid the plane's kitchen of cookies at night as usual, and then catch whatever movies they have to offer. I'll only be back at the beginning of next year which is when I hope I can get a relief teaching job. I really want to teach in AC because I really love the school, but I don't know whether I'll even get the job in the first place. I specifically stated that preferably I want to teach maths in the application. I did not choose any primary school subjects in the application because I'm not confident of controlling the kids in class.
Now I am trying to get down to reading harry potter and the half-blood prince, which I should have done ages ago=P
To all my friends: Happy Holidays!!! See you at ritz

Free time / Exam Debrief

Well, I've certainly had a lot of free time on my hands recently. So much that I sometimes don't know what to do. Right now, I'm trying to pick up grade 1 music again, and have quite some trouble with the theory:P The flats and the sharps are particularly abstract to me, but well, I'll just keep going slowly. My enlistment date is 27 March, so I'll have about 3 months on my hands. I want to do relief teaching next year if I can, and I want to teach maths or chem. If not, then I'll just do whatever job I can find.
Ok, now for exam debrief. For those who do not wish to revisit those memories, please skip the next 2 paragraphs. I'll just keep it short because I don't want to say too much about what is in the past. In the words of coach (approximately) after the friendly match with RJ:"It's history. It's over. We can't change what happened, so just focus on what is to come and learn from your mistakes."
I am particluarly disappointed with myself for Physics 3 and Chem 3. This is because I was inadequately prepared for the option topics on both occasions, and this was rather terrible. In the case of Physics 3, I really didn't see that the expression to be derived in Q4 was E=V/r, so I was stumped there. And the worst thing was that I actually used that expression in my working later on without realising it. The examiner must be laughing at me now. And Q1 was rather simple but made to look tedious, and so, I left it to the last and left it unfinished as a result. -sigh- I can't believe that i actually let the marks go so easily. I wish that I could have been more organised for the essay papers (GP1, EC3). I am used to an unorganised, just whack approach for essays, and this resulted in my not developing my points fully, and not explaining stuff enough. An example is GP1, when I didn't get to explain comparative advantage as I should due to lack of time, and I have one toilet break to thank for that. The rest of the papers were seemingly ok, so I will not comment about them. What I do know is that God saw me through the whole thing, he provided, and that is all that I need to know.
As we wait for results, just trust God. His grace is sufficient. Nothing is too hard for Him.

"And the peace of God which trancends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Another day

Just came back from the club with Mum. It's raining outside, and my non-academic workpile, though still small in size, is waiting for me.
I wish we had gone to Alvin Toh's house yesterday. I only found out that they were jamming there when we met them at lido, and I can't believe that I missed it, especially since Rus brought his new bass. Never mind though, we had a great time nonetheless. Edwin and I went to Orchard first and we got there about an hour early, so we walked around, and looked at borders and this shop with all the high tech stuff for i-pod and the likes. Later on, we met Kevin, Joan and Alvin at lido, and we caught the 5:15 show for Harry Potter just in time. I think it's really the best out of all the 4 movies, but for the sake of those who haven't watched it yet, I won't spoil it for them. (To those who haven't watched it: You cannot miss this film! It is oscar worthy!):P I certainly wouldn't mind watching it again.
After that, we went for dinner at picnic on scotts, and I had to rush off after that because I was supposed to be home by 9. Maybe I'll be able to stay out late next time. Hopefully.

The week ahead

It's monday again, and no more monday blues! I could wake up late today, since there was no school today. But know what, I actually kinda miss school. Don't get me wrong: I appreciate all the extra free time and the movies with friends that I get to enjoy now, but it's just a big change from studying everyday as in the past.
Just went gymming with Edwin this morning, and saw Jasmine in the cafe preparing for FM2 in the afternoon. Her FM stats looks really interesting, but the mechanics is something else altogether. I still wish that I could have taken FM (in a way), but I'm still thankful for what I have.
Going to watch Harry Potter at lido with classmates. Yay! Right now, I'm at oldham wing with Mel, Joyce and Edwin. The temperature is way above my melting point, which is why we really need air-con in sunny singapore.
Wait a minute! How can I be blogging at oldham wing? There's no com!
It's quite simple, I writing this down on paper, and will type it into my com later, only after which you will see this, like now.

It's over!

Yupz, the 'A' Levels are over. Yay!!! Havoc! Just finished today with Chem paper 1, which was a rather interesting paper, but was not overly tough as was paper 3. I somehow don't know how to say this, but 'A' Levels was actually a great experience, minus all the anxiety when I didn't know how to do so many questions, and was reminded of how little I really know. But I know our gracious God saw me through the whole thing. Oh yes, and I didn't get thrown into the pool today as Edwin threatened :) I will talk more about it in the coming days.
Just came back from watching 'Just like Heaven' with friends at Lido. It was a really nice film, (well, considering this was the second film that I watched this year, and this makes a total of 7 films in my whole life, only counting those watched in the theatres, not very impressive statistics, so my standards aren't that high.) but it was my friends who made the experience nice.
Wishing Bio, FM and S-paper people all the best in the final lap!
Holidays are ahead of us, so let's enjoy.

A break at last!

We're halfway through the 'A' Levels already. Yay! 4 days down and 4 days more to go. 'A' Levels is surprisingly much more stressful than the prelims. I remember for Maths Paper 1, I panicked when I saw the first question, and I wasted time going around in circles to solve that one. Maths Paper 2 was a little easier, because most of it was statictics, which I find easier than pure maths. Chem paper 3 was quite an unpleasant surprise for me, as I realised how little I knew, and I'm so thankful that there is still papers 1 and 2 to come. I have mixed feelings about GP. The essay question I did was on the role of government in the business world, but I did not have enough time to explain everything clearly. I tried to avoid jargon and concepts so as not to make a pitfall which has been mentioned by examiners in the past on questions like this. I still have some apprehension in me over the coming week, but I was really encouraged by the writing on the tagboard in the void deck on thursday afternoon, which read: "Never underestimate my Jesus. All the best, J2s!" So many times, when I am weak, all I have is Jesus in the exam hall, and I find that He is all that I need.
Keep trusting in God, for He never fails!

This is the moment

I really love that song, which Taufik sang for the semis, and which I also heard over the radio recently. Well, this is the moment: The 'A' Level week is here. All that we've been working so hard for these past two years is finally here, and it's going to happen right here in the same hall where all the action took place in all the other exams. And its all going to end in a mere span of 2 weeks. Thank to you all who have been encouraging me and praying for me all this while, you have all been a great blessing to me:D I'm trying not to be anxious over it all, and it is really comforting to know that God goes with me into the exam hall each time.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3: 5-6

This verse is something that I saw often during the 'O' Levels, because it is on the wall of the auditorium in ACS(I). It may be helpful when I forget how to spell the word "acknowledge"...lol... , but more than that, it is a great reminder of how we can depend on God during exams.

1 week more

It's about one week to the big 'A's now. Time is really tight now. It's the final lap for us J2s, before we can play like never before. Yay!
On friday night, there was worship under the stars. I really didn't know about it until Alvin Toh told me that afternoon, and at that time, I was not too enthusiastic about going. But I thank God that Alvin waited for me and brought me there despite my excuses that I needed to study, because I was really blessed by the whole event. The worship was so wonderful, and I felt God ministering to me during the worship, and also later on during rededication when a brother prayed for me. I was only interupted when I had to go back to the hub to get my bag, because I kind of forgot to bring it with me, and they were going to lock the hub at 9. I believe that the Lord knew that I needed a break from studying, and so brought me there to worship Him that night. And thanks Alvin for bringing me there:)
Ok, umm that's all I have for now.

Weekend again

What a week. There was so much time wasted, and so much slacking. I'm in danger of thinking that i've finished studying for 'A' Levels. I found out yesterday from AJC prelims 2004 chem paper 3 that this was not the case. I've almost completely forgotten my food chem already. And my GP is really lacking. I promised myself that from now on, I will only use the internet on Sundays with the exception of school matters. I seriously need to be more focussed.

Had church this morning, and the topic for cell was the qualities that we would want to see in our future spouse. Yeng Wai urged us to be honest in our discussion, but we only were really honest after a while. It's just a guy thing, really. What we present as politically correct answers on this topic are not very true:P At the end of the discussion, Yeng Wai then summed up that we should look at the spiritual aspect of a relationship, as that is the most important part of who we should choose as our life partner. He shared from Proverbs 31:30, charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I still haven't got my enlistment letter for NS yet. That is both good and bad. Good because I'll be free at the beginning of next year. Bad because it'll mean a later ORD. Oh well...

Rain, Rain Go Away

Its another rainy sunday afternoon, and I'm supposed to be working now, but I'm just getting a little tired and restless. I was working in my room just now but i couldn't stand the burning smell, and so went over to the study. No no, I'm not playing with fire again. The burning smell is because 2 wasps/bees flew into my room on wednesday morning while I was doing QT, and I couldn't be bothered to chase them out. As a result, they flew into the open lamp in my room, and got fried. They are still there now, probably well done, or even overcooked, and that is why the burning smell comes on whenever I switch on my lamp.

The memories of Baccalaureate are still fresh in my mind. It was one of the best chapels that I had ever seen in AC, and we sang my favourite song during worship. After the service, there was more photo taking than I had ever seen in my whole life. I wish I had brought my cam, but nevermind, I'll remember that for seniors night. The atmosphere then was simply overwhelming, and I'm really glad that I am part of AC class of 2005, a really special bunch of people.

After that, I managed to get permission from Mum (who reluctantly agreed) to go out with the class. Yupz, so we went bowling at Bt Panjang Plaza, with Kevin, Joan, Mari, Soon, Alvin Toh, Charmaine, Beck and Rus. It was my first time bowling in my whole life, and it is no wonder that my first ball went straight into the ditch. My second ball left 3 pins standing. Yay! By the next game, I was leading, second only to Rus, and Mari said that I cursed the opponents' lane to make the ball fall into the ditch...haha... And then, everyone suddenly made a comeback, which left me near the bottom again:P I really have a problem with bowling balls, because the 9 pound ball is light and easy to propogate, but it spins so much that it ends up in the ditch by the time it is halfway down the lane; while the 14 pound ball is so heavy that it hardly spins, but I just can't seem propogate it straight, resulting in it going into the ditch too. But I got a strike on the first time I went bowling. Yay! **clap**clap** After that, everyone went to Mari's house, while I had to go home cos Mum said so. -sigh- But then it's probably due to her that I actually find time to work.
At church this morning, the cell topic was on death, which is a little foreign to me. Uncle Peter was speaking at service today, which I really enjoyed listening to, and the sermon topic was false teachers and doctrine.
Ok I think I've written enough today. Tomorrow, I'm so going to go gym, because I'm getting fat, and I don't want to fail IPPT and SOC next year.

A packed and tiring week

I'm back home early today because I'm kind of tired. The last week has really been really taxing for me. I've been staying in school with my friends till about 9-10pm to study, and visiting the gym 2-3 times a week, and I am so totally worn out. The workload is kind of huge, and the time left to the A-levels is kind of short, and so the rest can be easily deduced. I noticed that the hub is rather crowded nowadays, especially when the J1s like to spend their break time between papers in the hub doing last minute revision.
I just visited the gym today, and I discovered to my horror that my 2.4 timing has risen to over 10+ minutes. This is given treadmill conditions, no air resistance, air con, and the TV, which by the way, had a really entertaining show on today called "return of the pink panther" or something like that. After that, I met Bryan in the hub, and that took me all the way to 8pm. Went home on 74 later with Owen and Shai. By the way, I appreciate the parents who so kindly cook dinner for us day after day, but I am seriously tired of pasta, friend rice, noodles, and the likes.
Oh yes, a special hello to Edwin, who, I recently found out, visits my blog. :D

Sick again!

I just got sick again today at school. I was helping Bryan with something in the hub, and then I felt this sensation of pain in my stomach. It must be that indian stall again. I have resolved not to touch their food again as long as I live...not even the potato wedges. I have not forgotten that the indian stall gave me food poisoning during A 'div' just before the match against JJC, but I am so thankful that it was raining so heavily that day that the umpires postponed the match to the next day, and I didn't get to play anyway.....sigh.....
Anyway, I had to go home after I got sick, and then Mum gave me a long talk on watching what I eat, as this has been a common occurance with me, and that I should have been eating something healthier instead after the weekend of unhealthy eating. Well, I wanted to at first, but the queue length at the "healthy" stalls were long enough to waste up to 10 minutes of my life, and I made the mistake of choosing the stall with no queue. I should have known that there was no queue for a reason.
Prelim results came up like quite a long time ago, but I still don't know the final score till today. I was really so scared that they were going to shift the band marks for chem to make everybody score worse, especially since I was at the tail end of my band. WTH told me today that that would not happen. Thank God! God was really gracious to me, even though I was rather ill-prepared for physics. (Imagine not doing a single question on superpositions except in paper 1 for the entire exam.) On the whole, I have much to be grateful to God for. However, I am not anywhere near being satisfied with my grades.
Given the competition level for admission in NUS, I am really not sure whether I can get the course of my choice. My ambition is to be a pediatrician, because I love children. However, the competition is so tough that I am not even confident of being shortlisted. All I can do now is trust God and give my best for Him.

Prelims are over!

Just finished chem paper 1 this morning. This has really been the slackest day that I have had for a long time. Imagine going to school, and being free just one hour later. However, there were 9 questions which I was either not sure of or got wrong. -sigh- And some of them was because the question was ambiguous. I mean, take the chlorobenzene thingy for example qn 38, I thought that the -Cl would get hydrolysed to O-, cos the reaction condition was boiling, but then the conditions for hydrolysis of the -Cl group is 400 degrees, 150atm, so how hot is the boiling? but it's my fault because I didn't realise that there was no mention of pressure at that point in time. -sigh-

But now we all have a wonderful holiday ahead of us. Yay! That means more free time for me, oh, and by the way, I just got my tagboard up. Yupz, today was one of the rare days when I was bored enough to spend close to 1 hour on the com: just enough time to find out how to get it up. So please start posting!

In the midsts of prelims

It's really amazing how time flies. Just a while ago, we were all preparing like mad for prelims, and suddenly, we've already crossed the half-way mark. Now, we have a long weekend break until tuesday. Yay! Ok, the past 7 papers were varied, some brought discouragement (e.g. Physics 1, GP 2), while some others brought extreme discouragement (e.g. Maths 1). Finally, I have an extended weekend to rest. Yay!
Prelims haven't been a bed of roses, obviously, but God has been there for me when I needed Him. He never promised that I would do well, but he has said "My grace is sufficient for you," and that is all that matters. All God wants from me is to give my best for Him, and let him take care of the rest. "And the peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus," I feel that this is a wonderful promise from God, something for all of us to remember in the midst of prelims. May we all give our best for His glory.

And by the way, I noticed something during prelims that seems different. After the papers are collected, and when the invigilators are taking their time to count the scripts, the hall seems a bit....quiet. I mean, during the 2 term exams and promos, the hall would be buzzing with chatter which can sometimes reach the volume of the void deck, that is, until the CPE goes to the mic and tells everyone to shut up. For prelims, everyone seems, like so obedient, probably due to the area cleaning "incentive", but well, this is not in any way a bad thing, it's just something that I've noticed, and I'm rather curious about, but never mind.

Wishing everyone in the midst of prelims all the best. God Bless!

Forever

I'll worship at your throne,
whisper my own love song
With all my heart I'll sing
for You my Dad and King
I'll live for all my days,
to put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet,
it'll be for eternity
And oh, how wide You open up Your arms
when I need Your love
And how far You would come
if ever I was lost
You say that all You feel for me is undying love
That You showed me through the cross
I'll worship You my God,
I'll worship You my God
I love You, I love You
Forever I will sing,
forever I will be with You, be with You

Exam prep

I really haven't posted for a long time simply because I have had no time to do so. The exam prep has been so hectic that I sometimes did not even have time to eat. --sigh-- The last 2 weeks have been the fastest passing weeks that I have ever seen in my whole life. My average day was a repetitive routine that went this way: wake up, go to school, assembly, tutorial, lecture, tutorial, tutorial, recess (code name for self-study), double lecture(oh no!!)
(but don't get me wrong, Keith Tan and Mdm Rahimah are really great teachers), lunch, the day ends, study in the hub/go home (depending on what time I end and what I feel like doing, do past year prelim papers, go to sleep, wake up, go to.... hey its the weekend again, and there's church, and it's monday again. I'm starting to go through my daily activities without really feeling them (save for QT....i hope....), but one thing for sure is that I'm going to miss AC and all these wonderful times real badly when we graduate. But for now there are the A-levels to worry about, or maybe not..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" Phillipians 4:6-7 (pardon any errors, because I typed this out from memory)
This is a something that God has spoken to me in times when I was just so pressured by the world around me, and even in times when I just felt that the stakes were too high. God has promised that he will provide for me always, and all he asks of me is that I trust him. Isn't it wonderful to know that we are never alone because God is here with us.
I would like to wish all my friends who are studying hard for their exams all the best, God Bless!

Youth Sunday 2005

It's Youth Sunday again! Yay!!! Youth Sunday is a great day at church, and this year was no exception. It's something that my church has every year : the youths will take over the entire running of the church services for this one sunday a year, and we do this because we want to bless the congregation through our service to God. The youths serve in areas such as refreshments, bulletin, welcome & hospitality, and the worship service itself. My DG served in the choir this year, and the choir was simply beautiful with their singing. Praise God! Yiling was leading with me, and it was such a great joy to work with her, and she was such an encouragement to me. Praise God! I still remember the time when Celine and Yeng Wai asked me at one of the worship rehearsals whether I was comfortable with leading worship with Yiling on Youth Sunday. I was like a quite apprehensive then, because, I'm not usually comfortable with large groups of people. I remember praying and telling God that if this was what he wanted me to do, I was more than willing to do it, as he has promised to be with me. There were 5 rehearsals altogether, but I missed one because I was in hong kong. The musicians, the choir, Yiling and Celine really demonstrated a lot of commitment in the way they come down faithfully for the rehearsals, and that encouraged me greatly.
Today, when we were praying, I remember telling God that this was his day and not ours, and that we could not do this without him. He certainly answered our prayers, the congregation responded well to the new songs, we just had a great time in worship of our God. I know that God was with us when we were worshipping him, and he certainly blessed the services greatly. Praise God!!
Oh well, I better start doing my hw:) School's reopening tomorrow....

1st day of holidays

Well, I'm like really having a good time. The flight was nice, nothing eventful, so thank God. This place is like really generous with free internet access, so I'm using this com at this star centre place by the harbour at TST, while my parents have gone shopping. I havn't been doing as much work as I should, and so I really need to wake up immediately after the holidays and start working. I love to holiday a lot, I admit that, but now's like really not the time for it. It's like blowing a storm outside now at the moment. I wonder how the people on the star ferry outside are doing now, anyone's seasick?:) The harbour is supposedly rougher now because of the reclamation that has been going on, and the star ferry ppl complained that it is harder to dock the ship as a result. Hopefully the ferry is stable, yupz, (if metacentre and centre of buoyancy are in the right places of course.)
I keep thinking about friends back in Singapore and all that stuff.

Some thoughts

I'm like at the airport now waiting for the flight, and the airport provides free internet access. So nice! Well, naturally, I'm bored, so I'm looking for something to do, and this is the most attractive option. Going to HK today, yay!, I havn't sat on a plane for like 1 year, or maybe 1 1/2. Anyway, I have to bring along my HW cos I'm like nowhere near finishing it. We had worship rehearsal yesterday, and all the musicians could come. Yay! They can play all the songs, so we just need to work on the transitions and stuff like that. I'm like really disappointed that I can't make it for the next rehearsal cos I'll only be back on thursday afternoon. But we're having combined rehearsals on Friday afternoon, and I can go for that one. Yay! It's such a joy to serve the Lord with them. O.K, maybe their opening the boarding gate, so I'll end here.

Russell's Joke

Hey everyone, I really like the Health Q&A that rus sent. lol- it's really funny. Read it for yourself and have a good laugh:

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
____________________________________
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So, a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products!
____________________________________
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
____________________________________
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
____________________________________
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!____________________________________
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
_____ _______________________________
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
____________________________________
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans .. another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
____________________________________
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
____________________________________
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
____________________________________
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

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